New Study: Father engagement vital to children’s wellbeing

December 15th, 2008 by Robert फ्रैंकलिन

"Children with fathers are less likely to commit crimes or engage in aggressive behavior, are less likely to become homeless later in life, have significantly higher IQs, have fewer psychological problems, are less likely to use tobacco, and have better relationships and educational outcomes than are their fatherless counterparts."

Hard on the heels of government studies of teen violence in Ontario and Massachusetts that paid little heed to the importance of fathers in the lives of their children comes a systematic study of the scientific literature to date. And surprise of surprises, it shows what we already know – that father engagement is vital to children’s wellbeing.

The study is an analysis of scientific literature performed in 2003 and updated in 2007 by social scientists from Sweden and Australia. Their findings were published in the journal Acta Paediatrica of June, 2008. The link is here.

It reviews longitudinal studies comprising over 22,000 datasets and finds that children who live with fathers who are actively engaged in their lives and care tend to do better than those without.

Specifically, children with fathers are less likely to commit crimes or engage in aggressive behavior, are less likely to become homeless later in life, have significantly higher IQs, have fewer psychological problems, are less likely to use tobacco, and have better relationships and educational outcomes than are their fatherless counterparts.

Eighteen of the studies controlled for SES (socio-economic status), so the findings do not merely reflect the better outcomes of more privileged children.

As the authors state, “father engagement positively affects the social behavioural, psychological and cognitive outcomes of children.”

Someone should let lawmakers, courts and the media in on the secret.

But, as the authors also add with typical scientific understatement, “unfortunately, current institutional policies in most countries do not support the increased involvement of fathers in child rearing.”

The systematic separation and exclusion of fathers from the lives of their children is one of the great scandals of our time. Someday we will look back on the present and shake our heads in disbelief at current policies that are bad for fathers, bad for children, bad for mothers, and bad for society.

Long-term scientific studies like this one tell us a truth that will over time displace the fictions we’ve been living with for so long.

Ever heard of the "ripple effect"? Drop a single stone in a pond and it makes ripples far beyond the spot it landed. Tell one person your story, and see the difference it makes for others, whether you ever know them or not. You can cause change through the simple act of sharing.

If you want to be a part of our documentary, which we hope to freely share with community groups, churches, policy makers and educators -- let us know! We will send you a brief list of questions to think about, and you can tape yourself and send it to us. We'll try to tell as many stories as we can through our project -- make your voice heard -- Let Me Parent!

Watch the first few minutes of our project here:

Meet the Inspiration for Let Me Parent! and Watch the Video

Let Me Parent! is now collecting stories of non-custodial fathers who want to share your experiences about fatherhood, your desires to be in the lives of your children, the obstacles you face and the ways you are overcoming.

If you are a dad and you have a story to tell, send us a message here by posting a comment and we'll contact you about participation in our project! Every story matters, especially if you face intimidation by the legal system.

If you are behind on child support and think that you can't see your kids -- read our blog, search the web, and start learning the truth! You CAN be a father to your children.

Let Me Parent! is simply a small group of friends and family who wanted to be united with our children and step-children. We were kept away from the kids we love and we started this site to support ourselves and other. We want to see children united with their parents, and we are actively working to address the issues that destroy relationships between parents and kids. We know first hand -- we are living it. We hope you will add your voice to this blog, and we'll keep posting articles and sites that can be helpful to you, as often as we can.

National Fatherhood Initiative's Ad Campaign Insults African American Fathers

Thursday, December 11, 2008

By Glenn Sacks and Reginald Brass
Reposted from www.glennsacks.com

"Easter Bunny. Tooth Fairy. Daddy. Eventually kids stop believing in things they don't see."

"Each Night Millions of Kids Go To Sleep Starving. For Attention from Their Dads."

"Dear Daddy, My Mommy Can't Be My Daddy Too."

Bus stop ads with pictures of small African American children delivering these biting messages to their absent fathers can be seen all over Los Angeles County. They are part of a nationwide campaign to reduce fatherlessness in the African-American community. The campaign is sponsored by the National Fatherhood Initiative, an influential Maryland-based nonprofit organization which has had ties with both the Clinton and Bush administrations.

While the NFI's goal is laudable, fathers bear only part of the responsibility for black fatherlessness. Among the major factors the NFI campaign completely ignores is the fact that mothers often drive fathers out of their children's lives.

According to the Children's Rights Council, a Washington-based advocacy group, more than five million American children each year have their access to their noncustodial parents interfered with or blocked by custodial parents.

While child support orders are often enforced with great zeal, courts are slow to take effective measures to enforce visitation orders. It is difficult for low-income men to afford attorneys to fight for enforcement, particularly since they are already struggling with stiff child support obligations. As a result, many African-American men have become what prominent divorce researcher Sanford Braver calls "fathers without children."

Another problem for fathers is that domestic violence restraining order policies, which were set up to help genuinely abused women, are instead often used as weapons in custody battles. According to family law attorney Lisa Scott of the civil rights group Taking Action Against Bias in the System, most courts grant restraining orders to practically any woman who applies, and domestic violence accusations are very effective at depriving fathers of custody and visitation rights after divorce. She says:

"Most restraining orders do not even involve an allegation of physical violence. For most judges, the woman saying she 'feels afraid' of her husband is enough. Men have no way to defend themselves against these accusations. How do you argue against a feeling?"

James, a young African-American father in Los Angeles, was recently served with a restraining order in an attempt to drive him out of his three year-old daughter's life. James had been his little girl's primary caregiver for the first two and a half years of her life. He says:

"The charges in the order are completely false. I've seen many friends and acquaintances get hit by these restraining orders. They tell me that they never hit her, never touched her, never threatened her, and I used to say to myself 'yeah, right.' Now I see what's really happening."

Another major problem for California fathers is move-aways. Until last month's California Supreme Court decision in the LaMusga move-away case, custodial mothers had wide latitude to move their children hundreds or thousands of miles away from the children's fathers. Low-income fathers' child support obligations often chain them to their jobs while they are powerless to prevent their children from being moved far away from them. Because salaries, the cost of living, and child support obligations are high in California, custodial mothers frequently move to other states where the support paid by the father under California guidelines provides a better standard of living.

Many African-American fathers see the NFI's bus stop campaign as a slap in the face. Richard, a Los Angeles father of two, says:

"I did the best I could as a father, but the moment I wasn't convenient anymore I was gone. The courts didn't care about my kids having time with me, all they cared about was my money, and I don't even have much. Every time I see one of those 'Dear Daddy' posters at the bus stop I think 'what do you mean 'Dear Daddy?' Don't you mean 'Dear Mommy?' You tell daddy to be daddy, why don't you tell mommy to let daddy be daddy?'"

This column first appeared in the Daily Breeze [Los Angeles] (5/25/04).

Glenn Sacks is a men's and fathers' issues columnist and a talk show host on KMPC AM 1540 in Los Angeles. His columns have appeared in dozens of America's largest newspapers.

Glenn can be reached via his website, at www.GlennSacks.com or by email at Glenn@GlennSacks.com.

Reginald Brass is the founder and president of My Child Says Daddy, a Los Angeles-based organization which helps African-American fathers stay involved in their children's lives. They can be reached through their website at MyChildSaysDaddy.org
Listen to related His Side radio shows:
National Fatherhood Initiative Attacks Black Fathers (4/25/04)
The Crucible of the Unwed Father (1/11/04)

Let Me Parent Documentary

Here is a trailer for a documentary we're doing on African-American fatherhood...check it out!